I live my life trying to walk a razor's edge between striving for more and seeking contentment and appreciation for what I already have. When I stop and reflect, I know that I'm more fortunate than most, especially when I open the aperture wide and look at the state of the global community. I live in the wealthiest nation that has ever existed in relative comfort and stability surrounded by friends and family whom I love dearly and who love me. I've worked hard to build the life I have, but I also realize there are many factors I had zero influence on that laid the foundation upon which that life rests. I try to make note of the things I am grateful for and earnestly appreciate that fact. Yet I almost invariably also find myself feeling like I need to do more.
Perhaps its arrogance thinking that I should be seeking to thrive, be exceptional, and not just be content where I am. Perhaps its a manifestation of my privilege that even in the midst of a global crisis, I feel I should be taking every opportunity availed of me to advance.
I think it is both a blessing and a curse to have to struggle to find contentment. If I am honest with myself, I know my drive comes at least in part from a fear of never being good enough no matter what I am able to achieve. But it pushes me to want to lead a life of some significance and utility to others, no matter how large or small that ripple effect may be.
I've decided to reject the paradigm of contentment and growth as binary, or even oppositional.
I can both appreciate what I have, and seek to maximize the impact of those gifts. The recognition of my position reinforces the desire to make the most of it. It's in the acceptance of the temporary nature of it all that I can push froward and seek to squeeze every drop out of my time on this plane of existence.
I will embrace that pursuit. I hope you will join me. Grow or die.
- Coach Jordan
